Antonio Brown

I am franchise tagging The Immortal Antonio Brown for 56k. If you think you're stealing him for any price with a back-half of the first or next year's firsts then yes, you should put your straight-jacket back on.

And if u think ur getting him back at $56 then u can put yours on.

haha. We'll see.

Careful, Blake. I'd hate for anybody to think that your phone call with Keith about Antonio to be evidence of collusion.

I don't get why you're all hot and bothered by this whole AB tagging situation. You've known this day was coming for a long time.

Collusion: secret or illegal cooperation or conspiracy, especially in order to cheat or deceive others.

Blake and I discussing you're attempt to deceive by 'bullying' anyone with backend picks by suggesting we belong in a mental institution is hardly collusion. Lol. In fact you just 'triggered' me and I need a safe space. Such hate will not be tolerated in UPS.

$57K

Not sure how we collude on both wanting the same player but you have now triggered me.

$77k

80K

Eat shit Ryan. Haha

(Yawn.)  Wake me when it hits his uniform number.

Thank you, Merriam-Warren, for the definition.  I was just fucking around on the collusion, legitimately.  The day I need you two penis breaths (your kind generally comes in pairs) to explain a word to me, just kick me out of the league and save me the embarrassment.

Speaking of hot and bothered...we certainly need to bring back the Mantown Mondays this year.

As far as you ladies being triggered...I'm not winking at you, that's a red dot on your chests...soon to be a Cleveland Steamer on your corpses...thanks to my New Edition (ol' school shout out), Mr. Crowell behind his new elite O-line.  Don't make me Brantley you bitches.  Consider yourselves Nose Tackled.  

Big tag$$$
Wish you were paying 80k for this guy while i was in your division!

Dearest Antonio,

After 371 catches, 35 touchdowns, and 4,816 yards, it's an understatement to say that we've had a successful 3 years together.  I believed in you, I coached you up, after I proved to you that I believed that you would be the best in the world at what you do, as I paid you the best that you've ever known (after all those other suitors kicked you around and gave you one year temp worker deals).  

You've repaid me in so many ways:
 

•  You worked so hard every day in practice,
     you mentored the young guys,
     you never took plays off,
     you brought home the bacon and the hardware,
     you never filmed my postgame locker room ebonics.
  

This is the day I always knew was destined to be, but I never wanted to accept that.  I never wanted to feel what this would be like.  I never wanted to part.  I never wanted to believe that you'd take your chances that another organization with an armored truck could ever treat you as fairly as the Ulterior Warriors have.  I get it though.  I ain't mad atcha.  You understand that all those times we said that nobody was bigger than the franchise, that it's not just coachspeak around here.  We built something great here, and we owe a ton of credit here, but we built something that is long-lasting and appears capable of still chugging along as a playoff team.  

I hope you're not bitter.  I hope we still catch up.  I hope we still meet up for dinner, drinks, and laughs when our teams cross paths.  It'll be impossible for me to want to look at those games like any other.  It'll be so strange to root for a player on the other side of the field, but you'll always be a Warrior in my eyes...now, in future years, in Canton, and everytime that an old timer reminisces or a little kid starts to ask about the legendary Antonio Brown.  So I hope you don't feel the urge to go off for 20 catches, 250 yards, and 3 scores just for the sake of ripping our hearts out in a thirst for vengeance...I hope it's simply out of the desire to show that we did everything together to make you the best...to make the world see that you're capable of doing that.

I hope it's not weird, but I want to sing to you.  I know if I just gave you a hug I'd never get the word "goodbye" out through the waterworks.  So this is for you, 84...

  We belong together
And you know that I'm right
Why do you play with my heart?
Why do you play with my mind?

Said we'd be forever
Said it'd never die
How could you love me and leave me
And never say goodbye?

When I can't sleep at night without holding you tight
AB, each time I try I just break down and cry
Pain in my head oh I'd rather be dead
Spinnin' around and around

Although we've come to the end of the road
Still I can't let you go
It's unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you
Come to the end of the road
Still I can't let you go
It's unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you

I know you really love me,
You just don't realize
You've never been there before
It's only your first time

Maybe I'll forgive you, hmm
Maybe you'll try
We should be happy together
Forever, you and I

Will you love me again like you loved me before
This time I want you to love me much more
This time instead just come to my bed
And, baby, just don't let me down...

What are you doing?  I'm not done!  I'm sorry...I made it weird.  I crossed a line there at the end.  Why are you leaving?  Let me apologize.  I can fix this!  Don't leave like this...

ANTONIOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

(And 84 is now a, (gulp), "Blackmon"?!? Give me the damn compensation...as if it could ever heal this pain.  You'd better treat him right...or I'll be there, Creelman.  AND WE'VE COME TO THE EEEEND OOOF THE ROOOOAD...no   I     can't     let      go...)

That night on voicemail:

"It's this damn salary cap structure that caused this, Antonio. Don't blame me! Blame Goodell! He did this to us. Three years ago, I would've gladly paid you 41k until you were 41. It's not fair...

(Sobbing) Please call me back."